Hoping it's not....

Last night looked like we were going to miscarry. I had bleeding before bed. I went ahead with the routine, shot and progesterone suppository, figuring I'd be waking up to cramps and a miscarriage. I woke up to go potty and nothing was new at 1:00 AM.

The Mister held me tight while I cried buckets in bed. He says I'm the Mama until something shows him otherwise. He thinks it's a twin letting go but that there's another one hanging in there. I love him. He never gives up.

So today we wait and see....again. I want to be that person who bled but got to take home a healthy baby in the end. I really want to be her. Really I do.

Come on Peanuts...stay strong. We haven't had enough time together.

Another Hurdle Cleared!

Today's hCG level was measured....the office wanted it at 1000 minimum. My number today was 7240! Yay Peanut!!! Grow, grow, GROW!

So Hard To Wait

I am not particularly patient; especially when I'm waiting to see a baby's heartbeat. The wait for the pregnancy test is tough but this is tougher...well, maybe not. Maybe it's the same. Aw hell, I don't know. Thirteen days left and then we'll know. One or two Peanuts and good, strong heart beats. Soon we'll know.

In the meantime I spend my time trying to figure out how to keep my mind off things. But not too far off so I am indifferent to the fact that I'm pregnant. I want to bond with the peanut but yet I think that I need to protect myself and not get too attached. Which by the way is friggin' impossible... I'm attached. You love them from the moment you know your pregnant. No way around it.

So here we are, waiting again. My friend said it was rainy at her place so she was staying in her jammies and eating waffles today. I think waffles sound Divine. We'll have them for dinner tomorrow. Step by step, a day at a time, one waffle at a time.....we all trudge forward.

Peace.